... a blog to make sense of the world through writing and acts of creativity, to reflect on and respond to the crazy world in which we live. Can beauty, creativity, compassion, and activism emerge from this tension?
Before I leave to Guam, I wanted to have my living area in some kind of order. (Yeah, because my sister is coming to visit my mom when I'm gone and I didn't want her to see my mess.) It was a mess for a couple of reasons. One, I was a teacher so a bit of a packrat, and I had some boxes that I had brought home from school that still needed to be sorted out. Two, I have an aspiration to be a collage artist, so I would save random stuff thinking it would be good for collage.
Now that I think about it, I have more than two reasons. I am also a wannabe crafter, and I have tons of craft things, like rubber stamps, stickers, and all of my scrapbooking materials from when I was into that. And books, I have a lot of books, and they arrange themselves in random ways when I'm not looking.
In this sorting out process, I come across lots of things that bring back memories, and then there are those things that for some reason I kept, but I have no idea why. I plan to get rid of those things, but I have fear that I will toss out something significant. (I seem to have done that as I can't find some things that I really want now.)
And then there are these hyper-significant items that evoke such deep hurt that I can't even bear to open the folder. But because the story here is significant in my life story, I don't want to throw it out.
In my cleaning, I found this little booklet I've kept for many years - 10 Rules for Happiness and Contentment - by Forrest C. Shaklee, Jr. (remember Shaklee products?) Rule #4: "Live in the Joyful NOW. ... You cannot alter the happenings of yesterday, so why allow worry over them to destroy the happiness of today? "
Whenever I have had hurts in my life, I have found that the best way to heal is to use the experience in a creative way, such as a character in a play, a collage, or a poem. I have never dealt with this particular story in this way. Will it make me sad, angry, confused, diminished? Probably, but in the end, I will have taken a journey of understanding and when I reach the end, there must be, WILL BE, some kind of resolution. So though Mr. Shaklee would say let it go, don't worry, be happy. But something else, like a soul thing, is telling me to deal with it, make something creative from this significant story.
So I will.
Diane Aoki is a writer who explores other modes of creativity as her intuition leads her.