I thought this was going to be a relatively light piece, about how funerals make you reflective and we are being denied that in these pandemic times. Even so, there is a sense of an overall funeral-like mood these days. Everything is stark — life and death, good and evil. That was my premise until I realized I was being insensitive. It is a “mood” for me — but it is real state of being for many others.
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In fact, that is what the Black Lives Matter movement is all about. I don’t have to fear when I walk to the store with my arms swinging (Elijah McClain). I don’t have to fear when I get pulled over for a broken taillight (Julian Edward Roosevelt Lewis ). I don’t have to fear for my life because I am protecting a monarch butterfly habitat (Homero Gómez González, Raúl Hernández Romero), or for protecting my ancestral lands (Berta Cáceres). On and on ad infinitum.

I have a place to live. I have a pension. I am safe. I am fortunate. I am privileged. I recognize that on a scale measuring real threats to peaceful existence, with 1 being no sense of fear to 100 being targeted for harm, I am a 1. It has to do with where I live (rural Hawaii, with whom I live (family), my own choice to not let unsubstantiated fear rule my life, and because I don’t leave home unless I have to. Because I am insulated, I find it useful to adopt a funeral mindset to keep me from being too complacent.

When I was younger, I used to hate funerals. I found them creepy, especially when there’s an open casket. Eventually, especially when I had lost someone close to me, I found them to be necessary. They provide a way to be connected to the person one last tangible time. In the honoring of their lives, there’s this inevitable tendency to reflect on your own life. I don’t know if it’s a thing, or if it’s just me, but I almost always leave a funeral with a mix of sadness for the loss of the loved one, and ironically, vigor, committed to live more meaningfully and purposefully. Since the pandemic, I have lost two people who I was close to, and for whom we have not been able to have funeral services yet. Neither of them were victims of Covid but both were too young. Losing them has been heartbreaking. But losing them in this time is disconcerting. Like there’s something amiss, unsettling.
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When you infuse your life with that same reflective mood that you left the funeral with, that is a funeral mindset. You are lucky to be alive. For some reason, you are alive and they, sadly, are not. It is a gift. It is not to be taken for granted. With a funeral mindset, you look at everything in extreme life and death ways and you want your life to count for something, to carry on the fight for those who can’t anymore. For those who lost their lives in this war for racial and environmental justice, I will live for them. For those who died senseless deaths because of our country’s lax gun laws, I will live for them. For those who died before they could contribute to the betterment of the world, I live for them.

I have also mourned one of my heroes, an extraordinary man, civil and human rights icon, the Representative John Lewis. I was hoping he would live forever. He would have had this extraordinary funeral even if not in the time of the pandemic, but because it’s happened now, at a time when we couldn’t mourn for our own loved ones in our real lives, we had a semblance of it in his funeral. No, it doesn’t replace the service we will eventually have, but it helps.
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Something moved in my consciousness. Mostly because of the pandemic and quarantine, and the protests, everything seems heightened. I am super aware that we are living in life and death times, a war between good and evil. There is no room for moderation, for pussy-footing around. Every choice you make, every stance you take is either life-supporting or death-inducing, either for good or for evil. When I wrote my first editorial for the junior high school paper, my teacher said I was prone to hyperbole. So — hyperbole alert. The hyperbole is real.

Climate change is better understood as climate cancer according to Simon Sinek. The USPS situation is the death of democracy, the evidence of fascism. If we can outsmart our current fascist president, democracy will be brought back to life. People seeking asylum are doing so because they are in life and death situations. America is no longer the beacon of freedom and life that it used to be. Under this current administration, ICE and the border police are purveyors of death, and the US is not the beloved country known for taking in “your tired, your poor. Your restless masses yearning to be free.“ Black lives matter. The abortion issue is of course, a life and death matter. Trump supporters cling to the illusion that given another term, Trump will deliver on his promise to overturn Roe v. Wade. (That is a huge issue and I am not ignoring it, I’ll write about it another time.) Never mind that his lack of leadership has contributed to over 170,000 deaths (and climbing). Never mind that he doesn’t care. “It is what it is.” Never mind that a national testing plan was scrapped because it seemed that only blue states were affected. Never mind that mailed medications are being delayed because of the deliberate slowdown of the USPS. They did not and do not care about life.

Being able to drill down to the life/death aspect of a situation amplifies the divisiveness that characterizes the country right now. As strongly as I feel that I am choosing the side of life, my counter might feel just as strongly that they are. I have friends who believe in QAnon; the life/death situation for them is that they are fighting Satan, Hollywood pedophiles. This is why they are so passionate, so fervent, so adamant in their stance. They are standing against Satan, the harbinger of evil and death. There is nothing you can say or do to change their minds. There is nothing that Trump can say or do that will change their minds — not even a loved one dying from Covid or because their medication was delayed due to the deliberate slowdown of the USPS.

But it’s not about changing their minds, it’s about knowing ours.
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It’s important to know what’s going on, to stay informed and not block out the world and all the drama out there. We have to accept that we will be angered if we are engaged. We will see people and actions that will make us wonder about the human race, and then want to look away. We can’t. At the very least, we are witnesses. We need to do what we can. We need to protect the vulnerable. Decry corruption. Seek justice. Speak out. Give money. Buy conscientiously. They think there’s this evil entity they name Satan, yet they always seem to excuse and dismiss evil in their midst, like a president teeming with corruption, incompetence, self-aggrandizement, dishonesty and immorality.

In pandemic and non-pandemic times, we are given opportunities to choose life or death. We do this when we choose helpfulness over hurtfulness. Compassion over condemnation. Honesty over lies. Truth over deceit. Empathy over egotism. Kindness over hate. We can respond like a firm teacher to people who send us misleading pro-Trump messages; we can write essays like this which will probably never read by them; we can reply to their skewed memes on Facebook. But that is not the bulk of what we need to do.
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We need to walk our walk. We need to be who we are and tell the world who we are. We need to represent the side that is choosing life over death. We need to tell the world that we stand for good. You can do it on social media, to a point, but real life standing up is walking the walk. The videos of those ugly selfish anti-mask tantrum throwers are hurting their brand. We need to take the higher ground for the side of justice, equality, kindness, love. That’s our side.

I bought a t-shirt on Etsy that had a portrait of George Floyd on it with words — Equality Now. I walk every morning, and once a week I get something at my neighborhood café — my contribution to the local economy though I definitely don’t need the pastries. I was wearing this t-shirt and the owner’s husband, a white man, complimented me on it. It was nice that someone saw it, and that I found solidarity with him. The proceeds went to support a BLM cause, which was my reason for buying it. Spreading messages like this is a way we can walk our walk. And if you are a kind person walking your walk, wearing a “message” t-shirt, the message of kindness will be associated with you and the cause of justice and good and love and life.I have more t-shirts coming in the mail. Oh no!

My first impulse in the beginning of pandemic life was that mask-wearing was silly, that if you are compelled to wear a mask, you think of yourself as sick, so you should stay home. I have a niece in Vietnam who wrote about her experience there and that mask-wearing was an important part of their pandemic control strategy. I told her of my resistance to mask-wearing. Not long after that, we learned that you could be a carrier and not have any signs of sickness. That was enough to make me wear a mask, and I texted my niece — You were right! It seemed so simple to me, but yet …

I have a friend, a gentle soul, an artist, who has taken on anti-maskism as his passion project. When he first started to post these ideas on Facebook, my impression of him was that he was reasonable, so I engaged by sharing my perspective. I soon found out he is committed to his position. It seems to be uniquely American, our value for individual freedom playing out for all the world to see. These fervent anti-maskers insist we are wrong, that the medical establishment is wrong, that we are not following the science.
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Conflict — the stuff of drama. Because I am a playwright, I have a tendency to want to understand the innards of people who evoke conflict, to treat them like characters in a play. So, here is a character study of a particular anti-masker. Though this is inspired by real people, this character study “is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to real persons or other real-life entities is purely coincidental.”

Resolving the ConflictOne way a play can unfold is through a thesis-antithesis-synthesis pattern. So my thesis would be that this character starts out as an anti-mask crusader. The antithesis would be as he confronts and deals with different events: friends who unfriend him, a beloved family member who dies from COVID, a grandchild who challenges his thinking. There is dissonance and confusion when confronted. The synthesis would be the resolution of the confusion. I am only listing the following in the order I presented them above, but in a narrative, it will not be this linear.

1. Artist. He starts to paint again as a way to deal with depression and his cognitive dissonance. When he starts to paint again, it opens up his spirit.
2. Skepticism. Being skeptical was the portal, where he found anti-establishment ideas about mask-wearing. He learns to be skeptical of himself and consider opposing views.
3. Independence. He heard Bob Dylan singing “You Gotta Serve Somebody.” He didn’t know what he was serving as an independent, but he knew he didn’t want to choose a side, a party. When the news hits that states such as Texas and Florida are also being hit, and it wasn’t a Democratic thing, he ignores it. And then there was the news that those in power withheld a national approach to testing believing it was only harming blue states. There is cognitive dissonance, but he eventually deals with it. He still continues to be independent, but he learns to articulate his values, which seem more “socialist” than capitalist.
4. Government. The corruption in the CARES act gets him even madder at the government. But he is able to sort out that some aspects of government does benefit him, both individually and to his community. He is still mad at the government, but he doesn’t just dismiss it when he gets his social security check.
5. Vaccines. The ethics of vaccines are similar to the ethics of mask-wearing. Parents are not just making a choice that can affect their own child, but unless they live in impervious bubbles, they are also putting others at risk, such as babies who are too young to be fully immunized. Similarly, mask-wearing is not about protecting yourself, but about protecting others if by chance you are a carrier. When making his decision about whether or not to take the vaccine, his ability to be altruistic will be considered. He decides to take the vaccine, which will be a pivotal plot point in the narrative.
6. Science. Knowledge does grow. It IS possible that what we consider true today may differ tomorrow, based on the evidence, but it requires a lot of proof, as in the Sagan standard described here, that extraordinary claims require extraordinary evidence, and claims posted on social media are far from extraordinary. After being opened up by art and an event that affects him personally (an elderly relative dying maybe), he is able to ask: Is my evidence against established science quantitatively and qualitatively strong enough? He has to admit it’s not.
7. Confrontation. He thinks maybe he should walk his talk and try to defy the authorities and the mask mandate. But when he can’t, he goes back to being an online warrior. In the end, as the story resolves, he does go out in real life, sees one of his anti-masker friends, he puts on a mask in an act of bravery. His friend yells at him for selling out. The response could be: “Real men wear masks.”
8. Affiliation. He sees more and more of the ugly videos of anti-maskers: the white supremacist who punched a female staff person at a restaurant; the people throwing tantrums because they are being barred from entering the stores; the pastor in his car ranting about his loss of freedom. This causes dissonance because he doesn’t see himself that way. He doesn’t want to be in that tribe.
9. Warrior. He becomes a warrior for the power of changing your mind and the power of altruism.
10. Voter. He realizes he does not fit in with the Trump tribe, seeing the disregard they seem to have for human life, especially when they could have had a national plan but decided to scrap it when they thought the pandemic was only affecting the blue states. He votes by MAIL!

I know. I know. This is an improbable happy ending. But this is art, right? It can take us from the dismal cynical reality into the realm of the possible. So in my imagined resolution, I will evolve my character! He was drawn to this “cause” because of a need to defy authority, to resist the establishment. This gives his life meaning. He changes, as light creeps in, little by little. At first, there is cognitive dissonance when he gets exposed to more and more bits that contradict his stance. This causes frustration, confusion and depression. He uses art to bring him out of this depression. In this process, he is able to sort out the contradictions. He realizes his need for affiliation, but does not identify with other anti-maskers. He chooses to affiliate as a protector of his family. He becomes a hero by sharing the ability to change one’s mind.
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If only.

I have this thing that I do just for fun. I divide people into camps based on an observable everyday variable. It’s not meant to be serious. Cilantro or not? Sweet tooth or savory palate? My favorite one is whether you park into a spot backwards or forwards. I make assumptions about you; back parkers are planners, front parkers live in the moment. Stuff like that. It’s not something I do to judge you one way or the other. It’s just fun. It never evokes defensiveness. It just is.
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In this iteration of Black Lives Matter, I have been dividing friends and family into camps and it’s not so fun. I had been outraged over all the previous incidences of senseless murder of black men and women at the hands of police or vigilantes, but it is different this time around. I feel it differently. I’m more angry. I’m more impatient. Yes, I suppose I’m more judgmental. And I’m categorizing people. Racist or antiracist?
So I get into these “conversations“ (if you can call them that) online (for now). I just can’t stand it when I see a friend’s racist post. And I doubly can’t stand it when they don’t even know it’s a racist post. And I am triply pissed when they get defensive when I reply in a way meant to enlighten them. I seriously want to know why they don’t get it. Since they don’t seem to be able to empathize with the Black Lives Matter movement, if I try to empathize with them, will I find the answer that will turn on that light switch?

Ibram X. Kendi (Author of How to be an Antiracist) says that if you’re not an antiracist, you’re a racist. Wow! That’s tough. In other words, you have to take sides. And if you really do care about equality and justice, then you need to be an antiracist. And if you are not an antiracist, then you are a racist. Ouch. So that is the lens I am using now. Before learning this perspective, I was content to just consider myself not a racist. But am I? I don’t know anyone who is an openly white supremacist racist, but I do have friends who are avid Trump supporters and Democrat party haters.The posts that disturb me the most are the ones in the family of All Lives Matter, the friends who insist they are not racist because they love everybody, they treat everyone equally and claim it’s racist to put one race (blacks) above the others. They know in their hearts that they would never look down on someone because of the color of their skin. Yet, their posts tell another story.

Example: Post shared by a white female former colleague with words instructing us to read it all before you react. She also says it is meant as “no respect (sic) to anyone,” and that it was non-partisan. I was going to share the meme here but I find it so offensive that I will just tell you about it. It’s a photo of an Asian girl playing in sand at the beach. She looks like me when I was a toddler, or my niece, like many little girls in my family. The words (typing in their formatting): SHE OWES US AN APOLOGY FOR PEARL HARBOR. And underneath, it says: You know what? At first I looked at this and I said, “Whaaat?” But this is a great point. It’s ridiculous to blame this child for pearl harbor just like it’s RIDICULOUS to blame ANYONE alive today for slavery, stolen land from the 1800s, or any other crime from hundreds of years ago. It’s JUST PLAIN STUPID.
Someone had suggested that my friend research generational wealth. She responded that she’s not making a statement, just sharing a meme! When something strikes me, I usually let it pass and if it still bothers me, I’ll get back to it, especially if I think of the perfect tactful response. But this time, I reacted immediately. My trigger — I don’t see why people share things they don’t agree with. Me: “Sharing has meaning. It reflects who you are. It is a political statement and you apparently agree. If you’re not a racist, then why share such racist memes?”
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Apparently, I accused her of being a racist because her response to me was to defend herself. “I am not a racist!” The gist of her response was the “bootstraps” argument, that anyone can do anything they want through “honesty, integrity, and dedication to their goals.” A friend of hers also leapt to her defense saying to me “either you can’t read, or don’t want to read all of it.” Her friend goes on to say: “it clearly states that it is ridiculous to blame anyone alive now for something that happened hundreds of years ago.” Oh and she tells me to “chill out and stop being so reactive.”

Let me count the ways I am offended by the post, by you, and by your friend.
I am offended because the post uses an image of a girl who looks like me to advance a point of view that seeks to weaken the case for racial justice that we are dealing with as a country now.
I am offended because the post attempts to denigrate the claims by Black and Native Americans that past injustices need to be addressed.
I am offended because you think the protestors are accusing you personally when the protests are about seeking justice from the system.
I am offended because the post has taken issues of war and sought to apply it to an issue that is irrelevant to the issue at hand. It’s a false equivalence. Apples and oranges. Effects of international war in which treaties were signed and measures for peace were taken vs. effects of historical wrongs that are still playing out in the present time.
I am offended because you don’t realize that your beliefs about hard work and a clean slate is not afforded to everyone equally, which is what this struggle is about.
I am offended because of the condescending tone, which is marked by the language, such as “either you can’t read or don’t want to” and calling the argument for justice RIDICULOUS and PLAIN STUPID (in caps). Imagine if someone was hurt, say by verbal abuse, and you told them that they were ridiculous or stupid for feeling hurt.
I am offended because of your use of CAPS but not where it’s supposed to be — in Pearl Harbor.

Now comes the part where I try to put myself in your shoes. I get that you are offended because you think I called you a racist. For the record, I just said, “If you are a racist, don’t post racist memes.” Okay, I admit, it’s a fine line. And I see that the post is not racist in the blatantly white supremacist way, that it is only racist in that it is not antiracist, and because of the implications I describe above. So, from your point of view, because you don’t have an antiracist perspective, I see how you don’t understand why I would have a problem with that meme. Perhaps I should have started the conversation with a question to find out where you stand, something like: So, I guess you don’t agree that our country has a racial injustice problem.

I know that life has not been easy for you. You are a single mom and have done a great job raising 2 children by yourself. You’re taking care of an elderly mom like I am. You have chosen a noble profession which does not pay well. You pride yourself in loving children of all races. This is a point of pride for you. You believe that all your students have potential to achieve their dreams, no matter their circumstances. They just have to work hard. If you start to make excuses for them, then they will make excuses for themselves, and you can’t let that happen. Nothing is stronger than the human will. You are a patriot, and believe in the “American Dream” and you try to convey that to your students, especially because so many of them are immigrants. This, to you, is your contribution to making the world a better place, to encourage students to work hard, and believing in them. You just can’t let anything enter their psyche that is going to cause them to have doubt about their chances for success. If they are going to blame society, there is no hope for them, because then they won’t work hard.
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I think your perspective is understandable, and even commendable. It was mine at one time. I know it comes from a good place, a sincere place of wanting what is best for your students. I had to stop and think about what my argument is against this sincere stance that you and your friends are holding onto.

For me, it is about the importance of history and how history informs the present. I hope you agree. You posted one of those memes about how getting rid of the symbols of the Confederacy is an attempt to erase history, and we need to always remember our history. You get the part about honoring history, but not the part about the history of racism. Especially as educators, we need to realize our role in perpetuating an incomplete history. Perhaps it’s too painful for them, or for you. And so you do nothing, you change nothing, you continue to think you know better than those who are seeking justice. You make a choice to promote the narrative of a race-neutral, traditional view of history.
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You may think you are being neutral, or that you are taking the higher ground. You know you’re not a racist because you love everyone based on the “content of their character and not the color of their skin.” And you could care less about antiracism which sounds too liberal for your taste.

But you are not neutral. You have chosen not to give credence to the protests, to the charges of racism, police brutality, discrimination, generational poverty, mass incarceration and other effects of systemic racial oppression. If you did you wouldn’t have posted that meme and you wouldn’t have been so defensive about it. You have chosen not to support Black Lives Matter. Does that make you a racist? A white supremacist? Note: I am not name-calling, I am asking. If you continue to insist you are not a racist, then please try to empathize, and understand why I am offended, why I reacted, why it matters to me. Can you? If you can’t, what does that say about you?

I know you are a patriot, I know you vote. My guess is that you will vote for the people who echo your views. If you remain resistant to the facts of racial injustice, you will vote for people who also refuse to address this. You will vote for people who demonize the protestors and the Black Lives Matter movement. You will refuse to see the white supremacist movement organizing to maintain power.
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This is your right. Who you vote for says something about you, just like the posts you share say something about you. There is no neutral. Make a choice. All Lives Matter or Black Lives Matter. Racist or Antiracist. White Supremacist or Egalitarian. Injustice or Justice. Egotism or Empathy. What are your values? What candidate aligns with your values? I hope you are not a racist. I hope you will not vote for a racist. And if you do, I hope that there are more of us than of you.

A Game of Categories

I have this thing that I do just for fun. I divide people into camps based on an observable everyday variable. It’s not meant to be serious. Cilantro or not? Sweet tooth or savory palate? My favorite one is whether you park into a spot backwards or forwards. I make assumptions about you; back parkers are planners, front parkers live in the moment. Stuff like that. It’s not something I do to judge you one way or the other. It’s just fun. It never evokes defensiveness. It just is.

In this iteration of Black Lives Matter, I have been dividing friends and family into camps and it’s not so fun. I had been outraged over all the previous incidences of senseless murder of black men and women at the hands of police or vigilantes, but it is different this time around. I feel it differently. I’m more angry. I’m more impatient. Yes, I suppose I’m more judgmental. And I’m categorizing people. Racist or antiracist?
​
So I get into these “conversations“ (if you can call them that) online (for now). I just can’t stand it when I see a friend’s racist post. And I doubly can’t stand it when they don’t even know it’s a racist post. And I am triply pissed when they get defensive when I reply in a way meant to enlighten them. I seriously want to know why they don’t get it. Since they don’t seem to be able to empathize with the Black Lives Matter movement, if I try to empathize with them, will I find the answer that will turn on that light switch?

Racist or Antiracist?

Ibram X. Kendi (Author of How to be an Antiracist) says that if you’re not an antiracist, you’re a racist. Wow! That’s tough. In other words, you have to take sides. And if you really do care about equality and justice, then you need to be an antiracist. And if you are not an antiracist, then you are a racist. Ouch. So that is the lens I am using now. Before learning this perspective, I was content to just consider myself not a racist. But am I? I don’t know anyone who is an openly white supremacist racist, but I do have friends who are avid Trump supporters and Democrat party haters.The posts that disturb me the most are the ones in the family of All Lives Matter, the friends who insist they are not racist because they love everybody, they treat everyone equally and claim it’s racist to put one race (blacks) above the others. They know in their hearts that they would never look down on someone because of the color of their skin. Yet, their posts tell another story.

The Post in Question

Example: Post shared by a white female former colleague with words instructing us to read it all before you react. She also says it is meant as “no respect (sic) to anyone,” and that it was non-partisan. I was going to share the meme here but I find it so offensive that I will just tell you about it. It’s a photo of an Asian girl playing in sand at the beach. She looks like me when I was a toddler, or my niece, like many little girls in my family. The words (typing in their formatting): SHE OWES US AN APOLOGY FOR PEARL HARBOR. And underneath, it says: You know what? At first I looked at this and I said, “Whaaat?” But this is a great point. It’s ridiculous to blame this child for pearl harbor just like it’s RIDICULOUS to blame ANYONE alive today for slavery, stolen land from the 1800s, or any other crime from hundreds of years ago. It’s JUST PLAIN STUPID.
Someone had suggested that my friend research generational wealth. She responded that she’s not making a statement, just sharing a meme! When something strikes me, I usually let it pass and if it still bothers me, I’ll get back to it, especially if I think of the perfect tactful response. But this time, I reacted immediately. My trigger — I don’t see why people share things they don’t agree with. Me: “Sharing has meaning. It reflects who you are. It is a political statement and you apparently agree. If you’re not a racist, then why share such racist memes?”

Apparently, I accused her of being a racist because her response to me was to defend herself. “I am not a racist!” The gist of her response was the “bootstraps” argument, that anyone can do anything they want through “honesty, integrity, and dedication to their goals.” A friend of hers also leapt to her defense saying to me “either you can’t read, or don’t want to read all of it.” Her friend goes on to say: “it clearly states that it is ridiculous to blame anyone alive now for something that happened hundreds of years ago.” Oh and she tells me to “chill out and stop being so reactive.”

How do you offend me? Let me count the ways

Let me count the ways I am offended by the post, by you, and by your friend.

I am offended because the post uses an image of a girl who looks like me to advance a point of view that seeks to weaken the case for racial justice that we are dealing with as a country now.

I am offended because the post attempts to denigrate the claims by Black and Native Americans that past injustices need to be addressed.

I am offended because you think the protestors are accusing you personally when the protests are about seeking justice from the system.

I am offended because the post has taken issues of war and sought to apply it to an issue that is irrelevant to the issue at hand. It’s a false equivalence. Apples and oranges. Effects of international war in which treaties were signed and measures for peace were taken vs. effects of historical wrongs that are still playing out in the present time.

I am offended because you don’t realize that your beliefs about hard work and a clean slate is not afforded to everyone equally, which is what this struggle is about.

I am offended because of the condescending tone, which is marked by the language, such as “either you can’t read or don’t want to” and calling the argument for justice RIDICULOUS and PLAIN STUPID (in caps). Imagine if someone was hurt, say by verbal abuse, and you told them that they were ridiculous or stupid for feeling hurt.

I am offended because of your use of CAPS but not where it’s supposed to be — in Pearl Harbor.

Me trying to understand you

Now comes the part where I try to put myself in your shoes. I get that you are offended because you think I called you a racist. For the record, I just said, “If you are a racist, don’t post racist memes.” Okay, I admit, it’s a fine line. And I see that the post is not racist in the blatantly white supremacist way, that it is only racist in that it is not antiracist, and because of the implications I describe above. So, from your point of view, because you don’t have an antiracist perspective, I see how you don’t understand why I would have a problem with that meme. Perhaps I should have started the conversation with a question to find out where you stand, something like: So, I guess you don’t agree that our country has a racial injustice problem.

Especially as educators, we need to realize our role in perpetuating an incomplete history. Perhaps it’s too painful for them, or for you. And so you do nothing, you change nothing, you continue to think you know better than those who are seeking justice. You make a choice to promote the narrative of a race-neutral, traditional view of history.

You may think you are being neutral, or that you are taking the higher ground. You know you’re not a racist because you love everyone based on the “content of their character and not the color of their skin.” And you could care less about antiracism which sounds too liberal for your taste.
But you are not neutral. You have chosen not to give credence to the protests, to the charges of racism, police brutality, discrimination, generational poverty, mass incarceration and other effects of systemic racial oppression. If you did you wouldn’t have posted that meme and you wouldn’t have been so defensive about it. You have chosen not to support Black Lives Matter. Does that make you a racist? A white supremacist? Note: I am not name-calling, I am asking. If you continue to insist you are not a racist, then please try to empathize, and understand why I am offended, why I reacted, why it matters to me. Can you? If you can’t, what does that say about you?

The Challenge
I have a very nice Republican friend, very sweet, very non-confrontational, and very supportive of Trump. Recently my posts on social media have been all about Black Lives Matter. There’s nothing specifically anti-Trump. Hmm. Did I post about that Bible-holding protester-clearing photo op? Maybe in reaction, he sent me this message on Messenger: (the spelling and grammatical errors are his, which he acknowledged and apologized for).

“I know it’s difficult to find something good about a person or group when your bombarded with negative commentary continuously but remember we are all US Citizens and need bridges that we can all build on… even if a particular person has personal faults we can’t change. I hope you can appreciate these well documented accomplishments that may seem or not seem important but the facts are, things are getting done but the biased media will not report these things because they do not attract headlines nor want to give any credit to the other side.”

The very long list of accomplishments starts like this:

Dude has been in office for 3 years…. what has he done? Other than dodging the darts the media and Pelosi have thrown?!? What have PRESIDENT TRUMP and his cabinet accomplished? Here you go.
( A list of about 125 items ensued. I’m addressing part of the list.)

After skimming, I answered back: Interesting. Do you have a source for this that you say is well-documented. If not, I’ll look for verification myself.

His response: Somebody else did all that footwork so they were too many to look up that’s why I didn’t post it as a general but my point was that even if there’s one or two that are incorrect there still a lot that has been accomplished and the people we need to come together rather than build walls.

Me: Ok. I’ll look into it. But really you shouldn’t just trust things that someone sent. Need to check sources which is what I will do.

Him: You know me I normally don’t forward a lot of that crap but because there are so many that I’m sure or I’d like to believe at least 90% of it is correct.

I told him that I loved research and would look into it. By looking into it, I mean check for sources, veracity, and context. Spoiler alert — I may do a sequel, but it was a long list and I didn’t get through it all. After looking up about 30 of the 125 said accomplishments, I started to see a teachable moment — lessons on applying thinking skills.

When you accept the party line uncritically, you are abdicating your agency. I know it may not be fun and games, but if you really do care about the democratic process of government “of the people, by the people, for the people,” then you have a responsibility to be critical. This means questioning not just the other side, but anyone who claims to be acting on your behalf. It’s disturbing to me that so many people will abdicate their responsibily to think for themselves and will just accept what someone says without critique. So this piece is for him, but it’s also for me and active citizens like me who are hoping to influence a community of independent thinkers.
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Lesson One: If you are a thinker, you consider the language of demonization

Lesson Two: If you are a thinker, you consider bias, especially confirmation bias

I am a liberal. I believe in working to achieve justice and equality. I may not always catch my bias, but I try. This has become such a problem in today’s era of fake news. What I say is fake is true to you and vice versa. I do think there is a way past this dilemma, and it is in being willing to go there, to question everything and look for the facts. I admire my friend’s desire to build bridges, not walls, even though he has a conservative bias, at least he is reaching out.

In this era of the great pandemic, I know people who demonize mask-wearing. One friend constantly posts things he’s found to prove his point. When I told him one of his sources is a known conspiracy theorist, he replied that this is how whistleblowers are treated by the establishment. There is discomfort when the facts prove you wrong. You have to move past that and commit to the evidence, as if you were a juror. I was once on the anti-mask side but have changed my mind for the simple reason that if it can help, why not? And the videos of the angry anti-maskers are disturbing. I wouldn’t want to be aligned with them.
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As I was doing the “accomplishment” research, I looked into where my search results came from. I tried to keep to media or organizations that are considered nonpartisan. I tried to stay away from any source that looked too extreme one way or the other, unless it was appropriate, as in looking for Native voices in issues concerning Native lives. I tried to look for opposing views. I do trust certain outlets better than others and I refer to this chart:

Even labeling this list “accomplishments” is assuming that whatever is on this list is an accomplishment. Just because someone says it is doesn’t mean that it is. For example, on the list is: “He created a White House VA Hotline to help veterans and principally staffed it with veterans and direct family members of veterans.”
This was rated by Politifact (non-partisan fact-checking site) as true. But did it make a difference? That is subject to examination. Trump did set up this hotline. So yes, it is fine that it is on that list. Whether or not it is effective is yet to be determined. The group DisabledVeterans.org asked that question and requested veterans to report back in the comments. There seems to be a lot more negative than positive comments, and in searching for veterans’ issues in general, it is a mixed bag. There are differing views. This opinion piece from USA Today says that “Trump Achieves Major Victories for Veterans.” But the American Prospect, a progressive think tank, is much more critical of Trump’s policies, calling Trump’s policies a “war on veterans.”

Another assumption Ballard and my friend make, is that the quantity must mean something. He assumed that by making a long list of everything he (and the White House) claims is an accomplishment, poof, by magic it is so. Quantity does not mean more truth. Each one of the claims must be examined in order to be deemed an accomplishment.
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Ask yourself: Did I make an assumption that needs more questioning?

Lesson Four: If you are a thinker, you look at both sides of the debate

On the list is the claim that: “Violent crime has fallen every year he’s been in office after rising during the 2 years before he was elected.”

There is a difference in the interpretation of the report on violent crime referred to. Forbes (October 10, 2019) (rated as center by allsides.com and mediabiasfactcheck.com) reports that Trump’s policies did have an effect. On the other hand, Politifact and the Brennan Center for Justice, (October 29, 2019) a nonpartisan law and policy organization, provides a lot of evidence that the claim is exaggerated.

If there is a difference of opinion on whether or not something is true, what are you supposed to believe? You can do a meta-analysis and examine what values may be guiding their interpretation. In the case of the Forbes article, the writer mentions the restoration of law-and-order under Trump’s leadership. But the Brennan article suggests the opposite:

“ But researchers have failed to uncover a link between such “de-policing” and homicide rises. Instead, the data suggests a different culprit: a crisis in police legitimacy, causing communities to disengage after witnessing unjustified police violence.”

We only have to look at the current protests against police brutality and systemic racism that make the Brennan interpretation the more apt one.

When you get conflicting reports, what do you do? Most important issues have valid arguments on both sides. I recommend going deep (researching different perspectives) on any issue that you are passionate about and what is important in your world. When I was a teacher, I went deep into education issues. Because I live on the Big Island of Hawaii, I went deep into the protests regarding Mauna Kea. At some point, you have to make a stand based on the evidence and your values.

Ask yourself: Have I examined the evidence? Are there opposing conclusions? Have I synthesized my research? Can I make a stand based on evidence?

Lesson Five: If you are a thinker, you need to look at the broader context

For example, the first item on the list was: “Trump recently signed 3 bills to benefit Native people. One gives compensation to the Spokane tribe for loss of their lands in the mid-1900s, one funds Native language programs, and the third gives federal recognition to the Little Shell Tribe of Chippewa Indians in Montana. “ This is true. His tweet about it is dated December 27, 2019. But the website Cultural Survival, an advocacy organization for indigenous people, tells a bigger story. The headline to their article reads: Presidents Day 2020: 11 Ways Trump Dishonors Native Americans & How Natives Fight Back. The bill referred to on this list is included as problematic.

“However, these are the only pro tribal bills signed into law so far this legislative session; and according to Indianz.com, historically about 20 tribal bills have been signed into law during any particular session of Congress, regardless of which parties are running the show in Washington. In the previous session, passage of bills in favor of Tribes was down by about 40% compared to previous years.”

The other ways described in this article provides a fuller picture of Native concerns. Most recently, they have had to fight to get their share of stimulus funding, which is especially cruel given that they have been disproportionately hit by Covid.

According to some conservative media, reported by AP, seen on Michigan Radio (NPR), there were some reports from conservative media that gave Trump credit using demonizing language against Obama, e.g. “A story by the right-wing partisan website The Red Elephants is headlined, “Trump’s EPA sending $100 million to Flint to fix water — something Obama refused to do.”

If you are a critical thinker, you can see the slant in that headline. The Michigan Radio headline reads: “Fact Check: Obama, Trump both had role in Flint Water Relief.” Being able to identify spin is not always easy, but being aware that such a thing is done should make you more vigilant.
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Ask yourself: Is that spin? Is it an exaggeration?

Lesson Eight: If you are a thinker, you can consider that a bill signed into law is more of legislative accomplishment than due to the President

Any “accomplishments” on the mega-list that are bills went through the process of becoming a law through the legislative process. Ultimately in order for the law to be enacted, the president has to sign it. So…
Yes. Trump signed a law to make cruelty to animals a federal felony so that animal abusers face tougher consequences.

Yes, Trump signed the “Allow States and Victims to Fight Online Sex Trafficking Act” (FOSTA), which includes the “Stop Enabling Sex Traffickers Act” (SESTA) which both give law enforcement and victims new tools to fight sex trafficking.

Yes, Trump signed a bill to require airports to provide spaces for breastfeeding Moms.

Yes, there’s more that I did not google.

We do need to keep in mind though, that the work of legislation can take years, and doesn’t have anything to do with the president unless it is a pet project of his, such as in building the border wall or the tax bill. For example, criminal justice reform called for in the First Step Act at the end of 2018, took many years of advocacy.
Ask yourself: (and this for myself) Can you cut the dude a break? Give him some credit? (and for you) Does he really deserve credit?

Lesson Nine: If you are a thinker, you will consider that we do not yet know if this was a net positive

For example, Trump can unequivocally take credit for his tax cuts. And so far, the only people who can say this was a benefit for them are the top 20% of tax-payers. Even before the pandemic, there was no evidence that it had benefited the rest of us. The same goes with the trade agreements. We don’t yet know the impact. I remember when I read a similar list to this last year and it had listed the strides made with North Korea. Well, that didn’t happen.

Ask yourself: Is this an unproven claim? Is it more of a hope than an actual accomplishment?

Lesson Ten: If you are a thinker, you can see how I would be so opposed to a few major items, that I would not count them as accomplishments.

Here is where we need to acknowledge our differences. Here’s where you know I am a liberal. I would never consider his claims about the border wall as an accomplishment, nor his appointments to the Supreme Court, nor the withdrawal from the Paris Climate Accord, nor the forced separation of children from their parents, nor his push to end public education by promoting “choice.” On and on.

My reasons for not supporting Trump have many pillars, and run deep to my core, my values. I think it is fine if you disagree with me, but I would hope that this disagreement is not based on blind loyalty to a person or a party. I would hope that your disagreements are well-thought out and based on the core of your being, your values. I’d like to have conversations about that. I hope we can “agree to disagree” from the deep core of our values and not on the basis of unsubstantiated support for a certain candidate.

Ask yourself: What exactly did he do that you also stand for? Is there evidence of his character that you admire and inspire you to emulate? Is there evidence of accomplishments that has benefited the country as a whole? Do you and he share the same values?

The Challenge
Thinking flies against the face of our fast-food, meme-sharing, mindless scrolling culture. We’d rather just put our faith in someone we have already given our proxy to — our party, or church, our preferred media sites. Maybe we can inspire thinking in snack-sized bites a little at a time. I realize that this piece isn’t snack-sized, but hopefully it is a big bento box that you can share bit by bit as needed.

I used to write letters to the editor of my local paper when I was a teacher. I called myself an education activist. When I retired, I retired from being an activist too, disillusioned. But, as you know, I started up again recently. We must do what we can. Here's a letter I wrote that was published today. Follow the link or read here. 

It distresses me to see teacher friends not supporting Black Lives Matter. They post memes on social media such as #AllLivesMatter, whose contribution to the discussion is to remind us of the police who have lost their lives in the line of duty, or who focus on the rioting and looting without trying to understand it. It distresses me no matter who shares them, but especially if they are teachers or who serve in any capacity interacting with children.

In the public schools, the teaching profession requires a bachelor’s degree and a professional license at the very least. But that doesn’t necessarily mean that we are all critical thinkers, which is a problem. At this pivotal moment as a country, unless we are in denial, we are examining our hearts, minds, and souls in pursuit of the truth regarding racism.
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I write as a teacher in Hawaii. I started my career in Guam, but most of my service has been in Hawaii. I retired early, weary of the obsession with test scores. I still work as a substitute teacher to supplement my pension and because I love kid energy. I have always worked in schools that have a high rate of poverty, but I only remember one black student in my over twenty years teaching here. The demographics are different here for sure. But, we too need to embrace anti-racism as an essential part of our teaching philosophy. Why?

We work with vulnerable, impressionable humans, some smaller than others. We have opportunities to influence them positively or negatively. You may be happy with neutral, but chances are if you don’t care whether or not you are having a positive effect, you are having a negative effect. Teaching is not for the faint-hearted. It is a hard job, mainly because we want to be good. If we are honest, we know sometimes we screw up. But we want to be better because we know it is not good for the students, and not good for us. We keep trying to be better. Anti-racism is like that. We may have unconscious, unrecognized racist behavior, but we want to be better than that. Anti-racism is a way we can be better humans, better teachers, better able to be a positive influence on our students.
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In a previous article, I wrote about Ibrim X. Kindi’s work How to be an Anti-Racist implores us to choose — are you a racist or anti-racist? If you say you are not a racist, then please, learn how to be an anti-racist.
Why don’t you want to be against racism? Please tell me. I want to know.

Is it because you think you think you are “above” this? More evolved?

I am an islander, born in Hawaii, raised in Guam, and returned to Hawaii as an adult. In the islands, we like to believe that we love everyone, that we are a melting pot, a blend of different cultures and that we all get along, for the most part. I could write for years on whether or not this is true, but the perception is real and the perception we have of ourselves as “above” this ugly business serves to delude us into thinking it doesn’t pertain to us.

And does it? Yes! Why? This is our country, even if how Hawaii got to be the fiftieth state is nothing to be proud of. A bunch of white businessmen descendants of missionaries who overthrew a sovereign nation so they could pursue their land-grabbing capitalist interests. This is not something to be proud of, America. Yet, it is what it is. And our country has a LOT to atone for — a lot of shameful, inhumane acts imposed on mostly non-white people, including the native people here and on the continent.

In Guam, the history of American colonialism is intertwined with World War 2 and the liberation of the people of Guam from brutal Japanese occupiers. Here, the intrusion of the US is less shameful and more celebrated, but their continued presence is pretty ripe for critique. But that’s another story.
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To be a good citizen of one’s country means learning about it, warts and all. It doesn’t mean we are unpatriotic. It means we believe in what we have been told is the essence of America — Liberty and Justice for all.

You still don’t want to be on board? Is it because you don’t teach social studies?

The thing is, unless we examine ourselves for unconscious biases, we are at risk for transmitting them no matter what we teach. I remember a colleague who berated students for speaking their native tongue on campus, telling them we have a policy that they need to speak English on school grounds. There is no such policy and I wish I had organized a campaign back then about establishing a policy against this shaming and shameful abuse. We are not talking about subject area lesson plans. We are talking about obtaining a level of awareness that informs your whole being, so that you can identify racism and be able to call it out in yourself, in curriculum, and in others as it comes up.
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Is it because you think that by siding with the movement, you are siding against the police?

I know it can appear that way because there has been so much emphasis on police brutality and its horrors. Also, the Defund the Police push might be alarming, especially if you have family members who are cops. I have also seen the memes and coverage in which the far-right forces are trying to make it about that dichotomy. Just like we know all lives matter, we know that blue lives matter. That is not the point. Focus. The point is that there is a history and practice of police brutality. If your husband, friend, or family member “honors the badge” (read about one here) as they say, then we love them. We really do. But if they are okay with their profession sullied by systemic racism, by the bad apples who can get away with murder, then they are not blameless. Just as teachers would love the bad apples in the teaching profession to find another profession, policemen should also want to police themselves, or at least be ashamed.

Is it because it’s all subjective and so truth is not knowable?

This is a huge problem. With a president known for his constant lying and hatred of journalists who call him on it, the press is seen as untrustworthy by his followers. Trump’s claims of fake news obscure the fact that there is a “real” fake news problem in this country, such as the conspiracy theories that abound. We are teachers. It is our responsibility to teach students how to evaluate propaganda, how to verify sources, how to identify bias, how to tell the difference between fact and opinion. There is room for difference of opinion and difference of policy based on sound judgement in a democracy. We don’t all have to think the same. As the saying goes, you have a right to your own opinion, but not a right to your own facts. We can take the same facts and form different opinions around them. Teachers are key in making a difference by cultivating thinking skills, which is not partisan or political. We don’t teach what to think, but how to think. Why wouldn’t you want to do this? Sadly, the focus in the public schools has been on testing, not on thinking. To save the soul of this country, we need to teach thinking. Before the focus on testing, I remember when this was a priority.

Is it because you see yourself as a conservative or a Republican or a Trump supporter and saying Black Lives M​atter means that you are a traitor to your party, to your president? Do you think supporting Black Lives Matter is a slippery slope into liberalism?

This is such a phenomenal time. People on “your side” are starting to speak up. Yes, Mitt Romney was the lone Republican who voted for impeachment on one of the counts, and got lambasted for it. But he didn’t crawl into a hole in shame — he continues to walk his talk. He said the words Black Lives Matter and marched with the protestors. I listen to Left, Right, and Center on NPR and hear some reasonable Republicans. And then the generals spoke up, including the current Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Staff, General Mark Milley, apologizing for his role in the Trump photo op. Well, these military men are not necessarily on “your side.” Gen. Milley apologized because the military represents the people and should not be political. Yet, your side claims to be the most supportive of the military, as opposed to us libs, who only care about welfare and free stuff. There are signs though — GOP Senator Murkowski says she agrees with the generals critical of Trump and is struggling with supporting him.

It is not a sin to be conservative, or a Republican, nor is it a sin for me to be a liberal or a Democrat. For me, it is a stance I take based on what I value. Because I value equality, I support Black Lives Matter and anti-racism. Do you value equality? It doesn’t have to mean that you are betraying your party. It means that you are anti-racist. I suppose it is possible that you don’t support equality. That would be kind of horrible.
Did I miss something? Please tell me, because I just don’t understand. Do you want to be against racism? For equality? Justice for all?Then you should be able to say it — Black Lives Matter. It doesn’t require you to protest in the streets, to buy the t-shirts or the bumper stickers. One step at a time. An easy way in is through movies and podcasts. So much available now. I have suggestions, if you want them, but I’m not going to tell you what to do. Just don’t do anything racist. Unless you are okay with being a racist. Then you are not worthy of the profession.

Did I miss something? Please tell me, because I just don’t understand. Do you want to be against racism? For equality? Justice for all?

Then you should be able to say it — Black Lives Matter. It doesn’t require you to protest in the streets, to buy the t-shirts or the bumper stickers. One step at a time. An easy way in is through movies and podcasts. So much available now. I have suggestions, if you want them, but I’m not going to tell you what to do. Just don’t do anything racist. Unless you are okay with being a racist. Then you are not worthy of the profession.

Show of Support for Black Lives Matter
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I get a lot of email. I am on various lists that reflect my interests and politics. Of course, all my political groups were quick to send out denunciation messages concerning the George Floyd and other recent racist occurrences. Because I am a liberal, thatʻs not surprising. What I didnʻt expect was so many of my other interest groups that I would consider a-political, were also sending me messages. I wondered what it said about the groups who hadnʻt.

For example:
When the protests started last week a “radical” (in air quotes on purpose) post appeared on a Facebook group I belong to, iPhone Photography Academy. The radical post was — a photo of the phrase Black Lives Matter scrawled on the sidewalk in blue chalk (above). Of course, there had to be someone (actually two) who had to reply: All Lives Matter. I felt compelled to educate — “If all lives matter, then black lives should matter TOO!”
She called me a racist. Yes, I guess that is the way they “think” (also air quotes). Identifying race is racist. I appealed to her to have empathy, to live in their skin. She replied: “Then why do we have to point out black lives?”

I was not the only one trying to educate this woman, she was definitely in the minority but hung on to her view like white on rice. (Sorry — not sorry — for weak idiom, but couldnʻt resist.) Samples from the thread:
“Youʻre part of the problem, unfortunately.”

“I think the overall consensus would agree that your oblivious demeanor and failure to comprehend the real issue at hand … our black brothers and sisters are not treated with the same respect and dignity as you.”
“… saying “All lives matter” as a response to “black lives matter” is like saying the fire dept. should spray down all the houses in the neighborhood even though only one house is on fire… because all houses matter. Yes, your house matters too, but your house is not on fire. ”

There were other commenters who had to tell us to not talk about politics on this forum, asking for the administrators to intervene. Soon, commenting on the thread was blocked and we were not allowed to comment anymore.

There was another ALM commenter on this same photo. I participated in both threads but this second one hadnʻt replied to me personally, so I interacted with the one who did. This second ALM womanʻs point was that if we want to improve the world, we need to treat everyone equally, thus all lives matter. After a lot of back and forth and resistance on her part, this second one had actually been convinced and she posted, in caps: IN THE SPIRIT OF BRINGING A RAY OF LIGHT INTO THIS DARK AND PAINFUL DAY, I WILL START OVER…GREAT CAPTURE! BLACK LIVES MATTER AND I PRAY FOR THE DAY WHEN WE WON’T NEED TO SAY SO.

I wanted to express my thanks to her for being brave enough to change her mind publicly, but the comment function on this post was disabled.
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This is one of the few groups I belong to that did not make a public statement about Black Lives Matter. I was hoping that the founder of the company, iPhone Photography Academy, would do so, but he has not. He is European, but that is no excuse considering the worldwide impact this has had. He has an opportunity to be an ally. But no. as of this writing, didnʻt happen. I doubt if I will purchase another class from him.

You are your email subscriptions
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Thereʻs this quote attributed to Confucius, but found in many cultures: Tell me who your friends are and Iʻll tell you who you are. In these times, I paraphrase to say: Tell me your email subscriptions and Iʻll tell you who you are. Though these interests of mine are not necessarily related to politics, it turns out that we are on the same page when it comes to racism and black lives matter.
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In my feed, I received Black Lives Matter anti-racist messages from: Afar(travel) Passion Passport (travel), Barnes and Noble (books), BookBub(books), Skillshare (art), Lauren Hom (art), Lilla Rogers (art), Fender (music), BMI (music), Bandcamp (music), Aloha Theatre (Kona, Hawaii) , Kumu Kahua Theatre (Honolulu, Hawaii) , Morning Smile (positive news), National Geographic (journalism), WIDA (education), Great Courses (education), Bioneers (environment), Motley Fool (investment advice), MindValley (self-development), TED (you know TED). Maybe my interests are typical of liberal-minded folks like me, but I donʻt think these interests listed above are necessarily political. But maybe. Something to think about. What do you think? Are people interested in what I’m interested in typically liberal, so my groups were not necessarily taking a risk, but speaking to the choir?

Choose — racist or anti-racist?

On a recent podcast, Unlocking Us, Brené Brown interviewed Ibram X. Kindi, author of How to Be an Anti-Racist. In his work, he writes that the opposite of racist is not “not racist” it is anti-racist. There is no in-between. You have to choose. You are either for equality or not, for justice or not, against racism or for racism. When you decide you are not racist, you need to have actions that reflect that. A Facebook friend thought she had a great idea to change #blacklivesmatter to #goodblacklivesmatter and posted pictures of “good” blacks and “ bad” — looters. I responded to her that it was a terrible idea and tried to explain why. She responded that sheʻs treating good and bad equally, and so she’s not racist. Well, she is, even if she won’t admit it.

When people react to Black Lives Matter with All Lives Matter, or in my friend’s case — Good Black Lives Matter (ugh, I hated typing that) it is not a neutral statement (or positive). It is racist because they are minimizing the issue, ignoring the injustice, turning a blind eye to the racism. Saying Black Lives Matter is recognizing that black people have been subject to racist policies for centuries in this country. It is most clearly manifested in police brutality. If we can prove by data that black people are disproportionately victims of police brutality (among other indicators), then we can agree that this is racist policy. If you disagree, and cannot present data disproving this claim, then you are racist.

By not taking a stand against racism, FOR Black Lives Matter, you are not being neutral, you are being racist. That may be hard to take, you may believe you are taking the higher road by not taking sides. It is, however, the lower road because you are taking a side of the racists by keeping silent, or saying All Lives Matter. It is the side that promotes oppression of certain groups. This countryʻs history is a mixed bag, with much to be ashamed of. We have a LOT of atoning to do, starting with the near genocide of Native people and the theft of their lands and then moving on to the slave trade and the repercussions of that, which we are experiencing now. Taking a neutral stand is cowardly and selfish. In reality, I know my “neutral” friends and family would not admit to being racist and also would not be on board to become an anti-racist. If this is the case, hey then— donʻt be racist! Donʻt say All Lives Matter because that is racist. Donʻt get in the way of police reform because continuing brutality is racist. Donʻt vote for people who perpetuate racism and are willing to use the military against people protesting against racism because that is racist. And fascist.
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As Bob Dylan said, “Your old road is rapidly aginʻ, please get out of the new one if you canʻt lend a hand, for the times they are are changin.”

Putting my money where my values are

I am going to remember the organizations, businesses, and groups who took a stand. I donʻt mind that Iʻm being “marketed” to. We agree on this pressing issue. I want to continue to do business with you, be part of your non-profit, your community. I want to buy a Fender guitar. I ordered How to Be an Anti-racist from Barnes and Noble. I signed up for Skillshare.

In this vein, I was so excited that Just Mercy was being offered for free in June on many streaming services to provide a perspective into the reality of systemic racism. I found out that Netflix is not one the streaming services offering this. There was no explanation. I had been thinking about cancelling in the past when I found out that the CEO Reed Hastings was an ardent advocate for charter schools, which bothers me, as a public school advocate. I recently restarted Amazon Prime, and having both is too much for me. Amazon had Just Mercy, and Netflix did not. Though Amazon also has its issues, I decided to cancel my Netflix subscription. They asked why and I gave the reason — You didnʻt offer Just Mercy as the other services did, and I think that says something about you.

Choice Defines You
Especially in contentious issues like racism, choice defines you. Even being neutral is a choice. But whether or not you make a conscious choice, you are defining who you are and what you stand for. For businesses and organizations, it is an opportunity to be a bridge between the heart and soul of your organization and your ideal target audience. If you want someone like me, a lover of the arts, an educator and a creative person who wants to contribute to the healing of the world, you will take a stand. If you want someone like me, who has a little bit of disposable income to support the arts, environmental, and humanitarian causes, you will take the side of justice and against racism. And I’ll be there with you.

So hard to write these days. Numb. Pulled to the news and to Facebook and reading post after post about the recent racist outrages culminating in the murder of George Floyd. My usual Trump-supporting friends seem to have taken a break and are silent. Oh, now there’s one claiming that the Minnesota protests are being funded by Soros to create chaos. That is your first and only post relating to the murder? To further a conspiracy theory? Really? (Note: It has been borne out that the violent property-damaging participants are outsiders. I hope this will be further investigated but at this point, who is behind it is speculation. Facts please!)
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Okay, write. Thesis. Evidence. Conclusion. Can’t do it that way. Form follows function. My form is that I am numb. The function of this piece is to attempt to emerge from this numbness. My medicine is to write. I know there is an end — a goal — clarity. So bear with me, walk with me.
Thinking back on other senseless murders of black people and I don’t want to know whether or not justice was served. I suspect that will cause even more outrage and subsequent numbness. I take a peak. Here’s the Eric Garner murder in New York who also said “I can’t breathe” as he was dying at the hands of a police officer. Oh, the cop was terminated. Looks like a civil lawsuit granted the family money. But the cop got away with murder. Other stories are similar to this, and you can see why this Chauvin brute may have believed he was invulnerable. He could get away with murder because that is the norm in these cases. Outrage. Numbness. That seems to be my pattern. I think the numbness must be a self-protection tactic. You can’t live in a state of outrage. But numbness is also not right. It is deadening. Is there another choice?

I can rail all day about what a terrible president our current POTUS is. But I don’t because enough other people do and I can’t live in a perpetual state of anger. He disturbs me but he wouldn’t be in this highest office except for: 1) more electoral votes; 2) the Republican majority in the Senate, who were elected by a majority of their electorate. Trump wouldn’t be where he is without the people who voted for him. This is why I am fixated on my relationships with Trump supporters. To be honest, I would love to change their minds, but I know it probably won’t happen. By maintaining a connection, my hope is that they will hesitate in their attempts to demonize me and people like me — the libs. I make a conscious effort to not demonize them, to actually keep loving them. I may not be able to change their vote (yet I hope I do), but to find any connection point gives me hope, just enough to not become cynical. So I am starting a file for “points of connection”. It is a very small file.

Entry 1: When one of my friends posted that it was perfectly fine for Trump to call this virus the Chinese virus, because that’s where it came from. I responded to her that the result of him labeling it that way may have provoked racist attacks on Asians in the U.S. She replied to me, that’s dumb. I said, yes, racism is dumb. I think she “thumb-upped” my comment. This is a victory to me. This friend is not white, but a very conservative Trump-supporting Christian evangelical who has a fervor about spreading one conspiracy theory after another. We disagree on everything, but alas! We can agree that racism is dumb and that it is wrong for Asians in the US to be blamed for the virus.

My second entry has to do with the George Floyd murder. Every day, I try to do something creative. I am learning watercolor botanicals and calligraphy. Last night, I was looking to do my daily art practice, which is to find a quote and do a calligraphy piece of it, then decorate it with a botanical of some kind. Lately, I’ve been doing a lot having to do with saving the planet. But, that seemed so much less important than addressing the huge raging elephant in the room of the American consciousness — Black Lives Matter.
I used to be on Facebook a lot, especially when I was a union activist teacher. I had not been posting much on Facebook in recent months, ever since Zuckerberg took a position in December that they would not do anything about political ads that contain false information. I tried to withdraw completely, but the reasons why I am on Facebook (babies, family, friends) kept pulling me back in. I actually had pulled back on activism in my retirement, trying to be more peaceful, more into myself, into travel, into art. I guess I had grown cynical and numb as my stint in activism in the world of education did not amount to much. So, there I was, wondering what to do for my daily art making. But all day, I had been seeing posts and news about the George Floyd murder.
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I decided to make that my art project for the day. It starts out with the word empathy. Getting my toes wet. Empathy, Of course. Non-threatening. Then I decided to describe what that meant. Put yourself in his place, in his shoes, in his skin. And then I decided I had to say it, that statement that triggers so many of my conservative friends — Black Lives Matter. There’s always someone who thinks they are being righteous by saying “All Lives Matter”. So, my dears, if all lives matter, shouldn’t black lives matter too?

Which leads me back to my connections collection. I posted this and one of my Trump-supporting friends said “Book em Dano. Charge him for murder. All Lives Matter.” This response was the inspiration for this essay. As I said, I honor any degree of connection, and we agreed on the need for a murder charge (which hadn’t happened yet at that point). I replied to him: Yep, black lives too.” He replied back in capital letters — (which I won’t do) “All lives matter. It goes without saying.” So I reply: You have to say it, because if you really believed that all lives matter, you would say that black lives matter too. He responded right away. “You overthink this. Fuck yes, Black Lives Matter. If you knew me better, you would already know this. I am so pissed at that asshole cop that murdered that guy.” He is a white man who claims he is not a racist. We agree on the horror here. But he sure hung tight to that empty “all lives matter” phrase as if it meant something. But I will file this in my points of connection folder.

I wish I had a third entry in my “points of connection” folder. Stories always work better in threes. I have been touched by the many stories people are sharing. Oh my gosh, there’s one about the black man who has to take his daughter with him when he goes for a walk in his suburban neighborhood because without her, he’d be a scary black man. And there’s the one about the college professor who got stopped by a cop because he looked like a man they were looking for although the only thing similar about him to the description was that he was black. Stories like these crossed my feed all day. Will the abundance of these stories change anyone’s mind? Get them to stop saying “all lives matter”? Stop it. If all lives matter, then you would see that some lives are more vulnerable than others, are more targeted than others.
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I think I will change my file into “stories of hope in the midst of the darkness of systemic racism.” There was this beautiful story about a white cop, Aaron Ostachuk, in Chinatown in Honolulu. He was sitting in his squad car, thinking about 2 cops who had been killed in the line of duty at that time. A little African American boy tapped on his window and asked if he could take a picture with him. This HPD cop was so touched by the trust this boy had in him. His mom was looking on and he could tell she was tearing up, likely thinking the same thing he was. Here is an excerpt of his reflection: “I picked him up as seen in the picture and he wasn’t even afraid. A young African American boy not afraid of the Police because he doesn’t look at us with anger or disappointment. Because he is to (sic) young to see hate, racism and or that some Police can actually be bad and dishonor their badge.”

We are not perfect in Hawaii. But we do try more often than not to live aloha, which speaks to treating one another with kindness and compassion. There was a solidarity protest in the capital. An African American woman being interviewed said something to that effect. She noticed that the Hawaii police officers did their job by standing back and allowing a citizen protest, free of intimidation. She suggested that we could be the example for the country. I am not the only eternal optimist in Hawaii. Actually, I think she is more hopeful than I am. I am just thankful that I got my “all lives matter” friend to say ‘black lives matter.”
And I continue to make art statements about Justice.