![]() This is my niece Caitlyn when she was younger, I'm going to say 4-ish. This summer, on my way home from Guam, I stopped over to see my family on Oahu. I spent the day cruising town on a Friday because everyone else was working. When I told my brother what I did that day, he made a comment, in a form of a question: 'Wait, you went to a crack seed store, then Gecko's, then Jelly's, Is there a theme here?" I caught his drift. Not only that, I said, when I was in Guam, I did spoken word! There's a phrase for this. Not a "mid-life crisis," maybe "second childhood," but not in a negative way. I am connecting to my whims, to my interests, without any guilt. Just doing it because it feels right to explore my interests. Really getting a sense that past, present, future are all one. I don't think I'm a better version of me now than I was in the past. I love unearthing my past and being at peace with it. I want to do things, like spoken word, and not talk myself out of it because I'm too old.
Madeline L'Engle writes eloquently about this in Walking on Water: Reflections on Faith and Art. "Only the most mature of us are able to be childlike. And to be able to be childlike involves memory; we must never forget any part of ourselves. As of this writing I am sixty-one years old in chronology. But I am not an isolated, chronological numerical statistic. I am sixty-one, but I am also four, and twelve, and fifteen, and twenty-three, and thirty-one, and forty-five, and ... and ... and..." "If we lost any part of ourselves, we are thereby diminished. If we cannot be thirteen and sixty-one simultaneously, part of me has been taken away."
2 Comments
Carol Arney
9/4/2014 02:07:41 am
Diane, I know exactly what you mean. For much of my life I was in the travel business. Always going to new places and discovering new things. About 10 years ago I started taking trips back to the old places. Where I grew up, where I had lived. I not only went back to San Diego, but I had to find my former houses and the small airport where I has learned to fly. I think I was trying to be sure the memories I had were real--that they had really happened. Second childhood and real past.
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Carlotta leon guerrero
11/29/2014 04:09:19 pm
I was around you for your first childhood and I can say that I feel like we are 12 years old sometimes. When Davy Jones of the monkeys died, I thought of you and you told me you thought of me when you also heard the sad news. Then there are times when I feel we are 16 again and excited about the road ahead..
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AuthorDiane Aoki is a writer who explores other modes of creativity as her intuition leads her. Archives
January 2021
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